Sun-Shaped Spirals, Cake-Colored Moons/Welcome Back, Mr. Kotter !

August has been one hell of a month. July too, but in a chill fun way (well, the last week was an exception to the rule) There's a lot I'd like to say, but there's too much. Or perhaps I'm just too lazy to write it all down. I'll most likely end up doing that thing where I not-so-subtly reference the events of the previous action-packed month(s) in future posts, thus informing you without you even knowing it. Yeah - I AM that f'in good. Or am I ? who knows.

Anyway, this is a blog and I suppose I gotta write something substantial. But what to write? ....hmmm.... wait. I know.

So I just bought my ONE FUCKING WAY TICKET to Changchun, China. Without the official job offer. Like, I KNOW this is a fairly poor idea, BUT. but the going rates for the other tickets were in the area of 300-1000$ more expensive and the cancellation fee is only $150. Only $150....arg, I don't have this cash to be gambling, but relatively, its good. And I suppose I'm a bit of a gambler. God help me the day I grab a revolver, loaded with that one lonely bullet looking to make friends. And its not that I'm opposed to making friends. I mean, I consider myself a fairly friendly person, generally, but bullets and I are like apples and orangutans.

Anyway, looking at trends, if I bought the ticket for the date later, the nice cheap price wouldn't be available, and if I waited, it'd probably be booked by some other .... I'll refrain from swearing. So yeah. I have a set departure date. Wow.

So yeah. China. A first-time international shindig. First-time overseas. First commercial air travel thing since...6th grade ? Pretty much all being arranged in 2 weeks time. w. t. f. I gotta stop doing that last minute thing. Its fun and the conquer aspect is cool, but man - anxiety city. Worse than a manic phase in Vegas with ATM cards in hand. Not that I'd know....[cue nervous laughter]

So why China, people constantly ask me. I could give the semi-humorous, sarcastic caustic shield answer. It'd draw a laugh or a perplexed stare which's make me laugh on the inside. But really, I just use the sarcastic thing as a defense mech. (as I often do) Mainly due in part to the multitude of answers and explainations that any meaningful and accurate answer would require, resulting in
A. a headache for me
B. a headache for you
C. your eyes glazing over after a minute
D. All of the above

(Choose D)

So I'll do the cop out thing and paraphrase Murakami - sometime, you need to get away to see things clearly. sometimes you need to go down to the bottom of a well.
And not to say that China's a well (because I know some people'd start flaming me/giving me evil-ish glances over that statement), but yeah. Plus, all the dim sum you could handle ? Hello ?

I get my MCAT scores in 2 days. Doctoring. A huge commitment. That I want. But there's so much more I want. And I have some time now. So for now....well, CHINA!

And perhaps I need it. Some days, it seems to have grown into that. Like that day you go to the store because what you already have just doesn't do it for you. Or perhaps because you have so little and now can afford to go. Or because you finally got off of your lazy ass and made the venture. Either way, you browse through the aisles and see some cool shit. But your pockets only go so far and you can only carry so much. Its a long trip back back, you see. So go through the aisles and carry various items in your cart. But now its checkout time. And you can't get everything. So you weigh the pros and cons of your prospective buys. But there's that one object with a little more luster than the others, with a little more potential use, with a little more gravity. Maybe you just like shiny things. But anyway, you decide on it and place it at the beginning of conveyor belt, slowly (and ever so) carrying it down to the check out lady. She looks like death and smells of stored moth balls, but is pleasant enough. You carry it and your shoulders slump a bit. Its a long walk. You need something for the walk back and, though in your mind, you love this thing, you cannot use it yet. It requires assembly and care. You think of the tools needed, the color you want it to be, the paint you'll need to buy, its location, on what occasions it'll be used, how much it'll be used. And the list goes on.

And maybe I need it.

But maybe I need you.

"Said the shotgun to the head."

So I thought that I should do this blog thing ferrealz because I will (fingers crossed) be overseas and poor and international calls generally cost a lot, at least to my knowledge. WELCOME TO MY CRAZED BRAIN RAMBLINGS! Perhaps I'll have the cajones enough to post this on my FB so people actually have a chance to read this. One day. Not today.

And I hope that you read.

Maybe "Lay Ter"

But probably not.

But May Bee.